"A one eyed dwarf with a face like a sack of mashed plums shuffles up the beach and urinates into an upturned top hat. His name is Cedric, he is fat. His belly protrudes from a greasy waistcoat as his buttocks, hanging there like two rancid melons, lurk in front of me, spoiling my view of the sea. He urinates into that hat at precisely twelve each day, like some horrid clock that ticks only noon - a metronome for each day marooned on this grubby little rock. Rags round his ankles and buttocks to the breeze, he shuffles back again, whistling. Grabbing a ladies' shoe from the wreckage, with its heel he begins hammering a nail into the belly of a large rusty contraption. He lost his eye around a year ago when he passed out drunk on the shore and some devious crab started picking at it, I saw the whole show."
so begins a staggering new novel by Andrew J Lambie.
When a Victorian freak show is shipwrecked on a deserted island, it's every freak for himself - a miserable prospect if you happen to be trapped inside a two-foot glass jar. Luckily for Dirty Boy, Cedric the Dwarf and Ruby the Hermaphrodite enjoy his company, and the three join forces to discover just what the devious Brigadier and his nefarious Kitten are scheming for the future of the global freak empire…
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